In February 1998 my life as I knew it, and the world as I knew it, changed forever….
My mother died two months earlier, just three days before Christmas 1997. She had cancer on and off for 11 years. My whole life and personality had shaped around caring for her. I grew up caring for her through various challenges she faced. So when she died, my role and my personality died with her. All that I knew myself to be up to that point disintegrated. When I was 25 years old, I totally fell apart.
One morning in February 1998 I experienced what I now know to be called a “spiritual emergency.” Indigenous cultures would possibly describe my experience as a shamanic initiation; in India they call it kundalini awakening. Essentially, it is a spiritual awakening that happens so quickly and intensely (all at once) that it becomes a crisis that can lead to breakdown and illness.
From that first morning, I started to have endless visions, and new psychic and enhanced senses opening day after day. At the time it was utterly terrifying. I barely slept because of night terrors, paralysis episodes and various strange other-worldly experiences that troubled me night after night. I couldn’t work. I ended up with depression.
Two years later, the stress of this extreme opening and resulting raw sensitivity led to severe physical symptoms, adrenal burn-out and a diagnosis of fibromyalgia (stress manifested in the body as pain, weakness and a broad syndrome of other disabling symptoms). I spent long periods in bed unable to function and became more or less house-bound for many months.
My upbringing had taught me to fight so I fought the symptoms. I did not listen to my body, and I pushed myself to try to keep going and remain active, even when I couldn’t work. Consequently my life on every level went through cycle after cycle of disintegration.
Right from that very first morning back in February 1998, one thing helped. That one thing attending healing sessions. Initially, it was spiritual healing as there was somewhere I could go for healing offered on a donation-only basis. I wasn’t working, so this made healing accessible to me.
Later when the disabling physical symptoms manifested, I found reiki healing to be almost miraculous in its effects. After one reiki healing session, I slept fully for the first time in eight months. In fact I slept for 18 hours. My healing journey had begun.
I went on to train as a reiki master healer and to learn how to discipline my energy awareness and intuitive openness. I learned how to work with the energy of our world and in our everyday lives.
For me, learning that everything is energy (or vibrating information) all those years ago liberated me from my own painful personal stories. It liberated me from physical illness, and I began the challenging road back to wholeness.
It wasn’t always easy to see the lessons in those painful phases of my life, especially when I was still in them. But I steadily came to realize that while there may be things that happen that are out of my control, one thing I am in charge of is how I respond to life.
For me, my physical illness and disability was about learning to love myself, to slow down and to listen to my body. I can also see that on a soul level, I chose to have certain experiences in this lifetime so I could learn, grow and become more whole in all the ways that really matter. It facilitated a spiritual fast-track back to my true essence, which is LOVE. It all helped me become a teacher that had really been there. I could teach and help others from lived, authentic experience, and that gave me deep empathy for others and their struggles, which can be missing from various lofty teachings.
Each painful phase of my life chipped away at the constructed me, revealing the real me underneath. Raw and real. Whether it was growing up in a violent household, abuse, my mother’s own depression and cancer, her death, my spiritual emergency following it, physical illness and disability, unemployment, poverty, homelessness, abusive relationship, or multiple losses and bereavements, it was more than any person should have to go through in one lifetime. But go through it I did.
Believe it or not I am thankful. My battles and breakthroughs have led me to the role of guide and teacher for others as they face their own awakening journey. I learned to trust the process, look after myself and listen to my own inner wisdom and gut feelings. I learned that during awakening and spiritual crisis, attending healing sessions is one of the most nourishing things you can do for yourself. I learned which energy tools really work and support the emergence process in a healthy way.
Probably most significantly of all I opened to sources and streams of knowing and wisdom that tell me that much of the pain we see on the planet right now is part of a collective awakening or spiritual crisis. Our personal struggles are part of a bigger picture. For me this is a comfort, and I certainly hope it is also a comfort to you.
If your soul is facing a dark night right now with everything shifting and melting down inside and out I say to you now…..
Please know you are not alone. You are safe. Remember to breathe; your breath is your safe place. Be gentle with yourself. Trust the process. You ARE valuable just because you are alive. You are worthy simply because you are here. You are LOVED.
About Kimberly Jones
Kimberley Jones is the founder of the e-Wakening Academy. She offers energy tools and heart-centered teachings for healing, transformation and awakening. Described as “The Energy Whisperer” and a “real life spirit guide,” Kimberley was named 2011 Lightworker of the Year and is emerging globally as a respected spiritual teacher and modern mystic. For more information, visit www.kimberleyjones.com.
Love and abundant blessings to you.
For more about Kimberley’s story of awakening, click here.
You can also read the book “In Case of Spiritual Emergency,” which features the journeys of Kimberley, and Amma and Eckhart Tolle.
Listen as Kimberley reveals more of her story in this webinar on YouTube.