Falling Apart


Has anyone ever had such a bad week or month that you just want to smack the proverbial rewind button and have a do over? Well I have. The past couple months have been, well, not a beach, if you get my drift.

It all started when I noticed blood in my urine a couple months ago when I was going to the bathroom, and it progressively got worse. See, I can’t go to the bathroom like the rest of you, so I have to catheterize myself every couple hours. I have to use special supplies to make sure the catheter is sterilized when I insert it inside me, and whenever I go ANYWHERE there’s no place to sit ANYTHING!!! I think this is a big factor into why my urine has had blood in it, so my dad came up with a solution, but that’s another story.

I haven’t been to the doctor in about a decade because I’m too old to go to the clinic I used to go to when I was younger. Plus not being on my parents’ insurance and being part-time at work and not qualifying for their insurance presents another problem, which is self-explanatory.

I finally did go to the doctor last week and he put me on an antibiotic, which has really helped clear up my urine, but over the weekend my dad noticed my left leg was swollen below the knee. I’ve been paralyzed below the waist since birth, so I can’t feel my legs to know if any bones are broken. Dad and mom have checked several times and they don’t think any bones are broken, but just to be safe, I’m having an ultrasound done this morning at 8 a.m. to see what’s wrong, then have another appointment tomorrow afternoon at 2 p.m.

Mom noticed my leg was red last night, and she started worrying that I had a blood clot because my grandmother’s legs did the same thing when she had blood clots, and doctors had to put a stint in her legs. I really hope it doesn’t come to this because I really can’t afford to miss work and don’t even want to think about how much it’s going to cost to have an operation.

UGH, sometimes I just want to scream…

Signed, I need a hug

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4 thoughts on “Falling Apart

  1. Dear Jason, Having the same month! Let’s hope things get better! My battle is with depression from sick family members. I feel for you and your family. Seems like a rain cloud following me at times. I know, it freakin sucks!

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