21 Years Of Trauma and Still Standing With C-PTSD

I truly hope you’re inspired and blessed by Jessica’s story. I met her on Twitter about a week ago, and it’s truly remarkable what she has been through. Her story is one of heartbreak and triumph. I hope you like it.

The story you are about to read is true-it is about my life. I would like you to take a moment to read about my sorrows and how I found inspiration to persevere. I have become a voice for those who are the silent ones, the abused children and women. I am opening a foundation that will provide a home for women who have been abused to have a place to go to get on their feet and become independent successful women.

Have a blessed day, for here is my story.                                                                           

My name is Jessica Solsona, and I was a victim of abuse.

JessicaI was molested as a child by my step-father for years, while my own mother knew I was being violated and did nothing to stop it. For years I did not know why she did not protect me. She told me she hated me because she thought he was paying more attention to me than her. He would go to my bedroom every night and take me to the sofa while he watched porn. I was so scared. He would tell me not to fight back or I would get beaten. I just laid there numb, wanting someone to save me. I turned to my mother for comfort and protection, there was none. She said she hated me because in her mind I was stealing the man she loved. There was no solitude, no place for me to turn. 

After my step-father went to jail after someone found out what he had done my mother told the police she did not know. She abused me so bad for eight years afterwards, and even beat me because the house was not clean enough or the food was not warm enough when I served it. One day my mother took me home from school and closed all the blinds and doors. She beat me so bad I was knocked out. She said as she beat me that I messed up her life. She threw me in a cold shower to “cure” my bruises.

There were many days that were the same. I went to school crying and my hair falling out because of the morning beatings. I hated going to school like that but happy that I was not home. I walked home extra slow so I wouldn’t get home. I wished my mother was in a good mood.

One day my mother woke me up at 2 a.m. and drove me in the middle of no where because she said she heard a little girl was raped and dumped there. It was dark and cold. There were no city lights. I did not know where I was walking. I saw a very small light far away and followed it. It soon was light enough for me to see where I was. I felt so scared and alone. I finally made it home. My mom was mad and told me to get to school. All I wanted was to sleep. I went to school wondering if the kids knew what I went through, but thankfully no one noticed.

I never had the protection a child should have, the protection a child needs from her parents. The very people who should have kept me safe had imprisoned me into a life sexual slavery.

When I was 15 I got married just to get out of the abuse to only get myself into another abusive seven-year relationship. He abused me everyday. I left school to work and pay his court fees. I had a son at 16 and soon after, at 17, I had a daughter. I fought hard to make sure they were not hurt by him or anyone. He was deported back to Costa Rica, and I followed thinking he would change because he told me he would. My kids and I were held hostage in Costa Rica for a year because he would not let us leave. He was so abusive and even more so because we were not in the USA. During that year my six-month old daughter almost died. I fought hard to get back. I made it back to the USA with both my kids and without him! I worked so hard to get on my feet. I have remarried and now have four children. I want to show them their mother is a soldier and can overcome anything!

My story is my life and through it all I had my faith in God. I knew that I was put on this earth for a greater meaning. A meaning that eluded me. My search for peace is all that kept me going through the many years of abuse that followed. My faith that one day I would make my way through the despair and use every ounce of my being to make sure other children and women did not endure what I had.

Jessica 3My dream of one day having a family of my own has come true. However the physical, as well as emotional, scars have remained. Like many women and children that go through what I have, I have complex post-traumatic stress disorder, or CPTSD. Though my will is strong, at this time I am unable to maintain full-time employment. I use this time to love my children each and every day. I work to raise money for my foundation for abused children and women as well as work on my memoir so I can tell my story and hopefully help someone’s desperate cry for help. I want so much to make a difference in this world. I feel it is my obligation, my purpose!

I want to create a program where women can get help to get out of abuse. Most women stay because they are told they are nothing, they can’t make it without their partner, and they don’t have the money to get out and be independent.

My goal is to get them out and give them support. I want to have a stable home where they can have the protection they need. I want doctors to help them with what they have been through. I want to find them secure jobs. I want women to become strong, successful and independent.

As for the kid’s who were abused I want so much more! They never asked to live that kind of life. All they want is a mother and father who will protect them, not abuse them. I am wishing my book could help change how people see and think about child abuse! When they hear a child screaming for the person abusing them to stop! I HOPE THEY WOULD DO SOMETHING INSTEAD OF NOTHING!


2 thoughts on “21 Years Of Trauma and Still Standing With C-PTSD

  1. Pingback: Stop Enabling Your Abuser - It Should Not Hurt to be a Wife

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